Saturday, July 23, 2011


It's a lazy day at our house. Too hot to do much and no energy to be productive. Movies, reading and computer time are the order of the day. That's a good thing as I'm back on the road tomorrow to pick up Nicole. She's been off in Washington DC for the last week visiting her best friend. Can't wait to hear about her trip and all the places they visited.

Stay cool and have a good rest of the weekend!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Goodbye Icey

Saturday morning at 10 AM, Guitar Guy and I put Icey in her carrier for the last time. She was as vocal as ever about her displeasure. She'd had a good breakfast and purred as I petted her. I admit I had doubts.

But Icey, at 22, had several kidney failure and creeping debility made it difficult for her to walk or get comfortable. The vet gave me a choice, aggressive hydration and medication that might buy her a couple of months or letting her peacefully go to sleep. Selfishly, I wanted her to stay, but didn't want her to suffer more.

We were with her, rubbing her ears is she lay her head for the last time. It was peaceful and easy. Her old heart sighed and stopped.

Thank you Icey for 22 years of love. You caught my heart as soon as I met you roaming the pet store, when you were just a kitten. If you hadn't been led astray by that Siamese, who figured out how to open the cage and eat the baby bunnies, you might have lived a different life. As it was, the store owners wanted you gone and Nicole and I wanted you. You were plushy and cute and loved to cuddle.

You put up with being dressed in doll clothes, pushed in a buggy, stuffed in a suitcase when Nicole decided to run away and stuffed in a dresser drawer. You were the amazing legless cat for a school project and the Cyclops in another. Throughout it you were endlessly patient and never offered a nip. You used up many of your 9 lives when you were shut in the neighbor's garage for a week with no food or water at age 13. You had a great purr and an absolutely obnoxious speaking voice (which I didn't appreciate at 6 AM).

For all the kudos, you also challenged my patience at times. Your habit of peeing on any clothes, towels or magazines left on the floor was not appreciated and probably would have gotten you removed from some other homes. You could be endlessly persistent when you wanted something and left stains all over the house from your frequent vomiting as you aged.

You had your evil moments as well. I remember bringing poor Cassie dog home from the shelter. Rather than welcome her, or even ignore her, you and Galadriel cornered her in the bedroom and terrorized her. You never initiated such bad behavior but you did go along for the ride!

Rest in peace old girl. Our lives will feel a little emptier without you.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Chasing 2 year olds is for the young!

Don't get me wrong, I had a ball spending a week with Rowan and his parents. I have determined that I would need to go back to the gym if I were toting a 2 year old every day. Did you know they are heavy? and they squirm a lot?

I have played Buzz and Woody through all 3 Toy Story movies, provided many cups of "Chama milk" (containing a small amount of Hershey syrup), read stories and gotten in my share of kisses. Rowan also made several trips with me to finish the process of selling my dad's house and disposing of the last of his belongings. He was so good and thanked the realtor and neighbors as he trotted out the door.

Needless to say, it was a bittersweet week. Unlike many of my generation, my parents bought their home the month I was born and lived in it their entire lives. I have always loved that I could still look at the kitchen window and almost see my mom coming across the yard with a pan of green beans for dinner. I could sit in the same chair I had sat in my entire life to eat dinner and sleep in my childhood room. The connection to my childhood always seemed sharper and purer in that little house. For a little while I could go home again.

I've dreaded going back to finalize the sale. I was afraid I'd break down and sob. Yet when I finally stood in the empty house I felt relief. The house has sat for nearly 8 years since my dad moved to a continuing care community. He always intended to finish cleaning it out, and for the first 5 years was there several times a week just puttering. When he no longer could drive the house became expensive storage and was gradually deteriorating inside. It felt sad and lonely and I hated going there.

I understand that it has been purchased by first time home buyers who want to make a home. The house will again hum with life and laughter. That is as it should be and makes me smile. I still have the memories. I even have some new ones of Rowan sticking his toys in a drawer my daughter used to pull herself up on when she was 9 months old. The cycle seems complete.

I find myself missing my dad more and more as the reality sets in. After working in hospice so many years I know about working through grief. I knew this would happen when the numbness wore off (usually about 3 months). The knowledge helps me be patient and give myself permission to grieve. I'm always surprised by the number of people who think grief should be over in a matter of weeks. I will ride the waves of sadness knowing that eventually they will become less.

Now I'm off to the grocery store. Nicole and Patrick are coming over for dinner tonight and I'm making her favorite chicken and noodles. Might even do a peach cobbler if I can find some good peaches. Have a wonderful, relaxing Sunday at your house and thanks for listening.