Monday, March 7, 2011

Hanging on

So many people have asked me how I'm doing since I got back home. While I say "Hanging on", I'm really in that numbness that often comes after the initial loss. I know the pain and crying will come back but for now I'm putting one foot in front of the other and functioning.

We held the service last Wednesday, trying to keep it as close to what my dad wanted as possible. My kids by blood and marriage are incredibly awesome - just sayin. They were by my side packing, cleaning, preparing for the funeral, creating an awesome video, funeral programs and a memory board. My son sang Tears in Heaven at the service while my grandson chattered in the lounge watching Nemo. It was a bittersweet mix of loss, life and laughter. My daughter re-arranged her work schedule and flew out to be with me. Guitar Guy just couldn't get away but talked to me frequently by phone. Your virtual hugs and support were also so much appreciated!

This week is a crazy mixture of meetings workshops, a quick trip to Flagstaff and preparing to head back to the cold country again. Still many loose ends to be wrapped up with the estate so this may not be the last trip. My dad's house needs a lot of work inside to be ready to sell and I'm not sure how that is going to happen at this point. I'll think about that another day.

I may be slightly insane but I applied for a per diem social work job to bring in a little extra cash. Most of areas of our local economy are still struggling so we do what we have to. We'll see if anything comes of it.

No knitting news this time - I've been remiss in the fiber realm. On the plus side, I already have my thank you notes about for memorial donations. Now it is off to bed and start all over tomorrow.

4 comments:

KnitTech said...

Glad to know you had a wonderful support system. (hugs)

Roxie said...

Oh dear girl, I'm so sorry things are so hard right now. I wish I could kidnap you and give you a spa day packed with soft, warm, gentle papmering and no decisions harder than Passion Pink or Flamingo for your tonail polish. Can you at least do a candle-lit bubblebath? And let your mind go dwell with your beautiful fairies for half an hour or so.

Galad said...

Candle-lit bubblebath sounds like a wonderful idea :-)

Donna Lee said...

You are one helluva daughter. I'm sorry for the loss of your father but you did a wonderful thing with taking care of him. I'm sure he felt loved and really, what else is there?

Grief is weird. Just when you think that things are settling down, it smacks you upside the head and says, "hey, remember me?".