I've got the painting blues

I sit here on the couch trying to avoid the ceiling. I know it is up there waiting for a second coat of paint but maybe if I don't look I can pretend I don't need to get up off my fat butt and pick up the roller. I haven't painted this particular room in 20 years and never the ceiling. I started with great intentions and excitement when I bought the paint it took me 6 months to pick out. After 4 hours of prepping the room I remembered why I don't like to paint. It isn't so much the actual slapping new paint on to flat surfaces that bothers me, it is all the taping and spackling and covering that must be done first.

My other challenge is my overweight, out of shape body that is complaining about trips up the ladder and rolling out a ceiling while looking up. I know they tell you an extension pole makes things easier but it also makes my right shoulder tighten up like a rock. Today plan is to alternate ladder and rolling to give my screaming muscles a break. Perhaps by the time I work through two more ceilings and 3 rooms of walls I'll be reasonably competent and less sore.

Oh well, off my ass and on to work.

Now What?

For the first time in a very long time, I find myself unemployed and at loose ends with no particular destination in mind. Aside from the sadness of leaving something that has absorbed my life for many years, I find myself feeling rather empty - peaceful, but empty. Not since I graduated from college without a plan for my future have felt quite this directionless. That isn't a bad thing just not comfortable.

Thankfully, in middle age I have more sense than to rush in to doing something, anything to avoid the stillness of being home with my own thoughts. I'm reading lots of books, a combination of brain candy and thought provoking self help. I'm taking time to put my physical house in order, which is a shock to all of its occupants and thinking about walking again. I am allowing myself time to cry, laugh, complain, curse and anything else that feels right.

It is a start to what will probably be a long journey. I like to travel so it is time to be one my way.